Your mouth is God's brothel.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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