How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she pinky promised me she was 18
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is classic penis vs brain.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize