I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
