i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
