What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
