I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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