oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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