I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
