okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
