11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
