This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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