I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize