Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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