there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize