my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
