My liver just broke up with me...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i think im in europe. pls send help
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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