I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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