I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
