Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
