so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
