Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
