What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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