He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
