Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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