No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
