Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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