Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
