the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
