I cockslap morals
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
