i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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