come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
