in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
