Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
