Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
