I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
