I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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