just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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