The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
