u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
