Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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