Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize