Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Will exercising make me less horny?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
