I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
