this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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