I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
