Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
