How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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