it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
