Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
