You're a womanizer and a bitch.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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