worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I will pee on everything he values.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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