oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
