Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
