And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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