how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
His nipple licking is glorious
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