We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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