I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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