How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My lighter is stuck in my beard.