Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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  (616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (565)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise

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  (305): your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise http://tfl.nu/rpa6
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (795)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Nicole vs. Life

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  (302): Nicole vs. Life http://tfl.nu/qzfl
  Replies (16) Good night (694) Bad night (981)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.

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  (443): Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry. http://tfl.nu/7406
  Replies (19) Good night (853) Bad night (3227)
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  (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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  (631): So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone http://tfl.nu/mgb2
  Replies (40) Good night (1087) Bad night (6802)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.

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  (214): Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent. http://tfl.nu/dqjd
  Replies (36) Good night (6206) Bad night (581)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

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  (407): Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast. http://tfl.nu/8b17
  Replies (11) Good night (5433) Bad night (1236)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

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  (817): Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel". http://tfl.nu/2v56
  Replies (15) Good night (5214) Bad night (1085)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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  (603): I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated http://tfl.nu/wizt
  Replies (8) Good night (2450) Bad night (895)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.

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  (812): I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice. http://tfl.nu/sig2
  Replies (5) Good night (2576) Bad night (1267)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You used the best tools you had at your disposal.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Slutty, slutty tools.

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  (507): You used the best tools you had at your disposal. (651): Slutty, slutty tools. http://tfl.nu/m6kb
  Replies (9) Good night (1953) Bad night (608)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

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  (815): My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy http://tfl.nu/f1hz
  Replies (10) Good night (1572) Bad night (562)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.

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  (518): He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one. http://tfl.nu/zjjj
  Replies (4) Good night (1755) Bad night (621)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!

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  (509): There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar! http://tfl.nu/gi23
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (403)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible

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  (801): Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible http://tfl.nu/ks54
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (268)

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