Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere

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  (301): Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere http://tfl.nu/ptau
  Replies (4) Good night (1573) Bad night (570)
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  (805): View more from California

  bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...

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  (805): bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad... http://tfl.nu/qw8q
  Replies (45) Good night (3245) Bad night (565)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

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  (208): We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands. http://tfl.nu/sr1t
  Replies (26) Good night (6118) Bad night (955)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow

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  (908): this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow http://tfl.nu/cbkl
  Replies (12) Good night (736) Bad night (4419)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

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  (314): Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there. http://tfl.nu/ndt3
  Replies (24) Good night (4969) Bad night (1016)
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  (916): View more from California

  I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"

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  (916): I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences" http://tfl.nu/bi6b
  Replies (16) Good night (4968) Bad night (1561)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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  (812): Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch http://tfl.nu/sdde
  Replies (13) Good night (5008) Bad night (1080)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts

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  (403): i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts http://tfl.nu/x8b0
  Replies (10) Good night (4841) Bad night (801)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again

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  (226): Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again http://tfl.nu/v9b0
  Replies (5) Good night (1890) Bad night (3249)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.

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  (805): I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on. http://tfl.nu/fosj
  Replies (8) Good night (4108) Bad night (1012)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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  (231): You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches http://tfl.nu/iwei
  Replies (4) Good night (1625) Bad night (1247)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.

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  (778): Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact. http://tfl.nu/nx0r
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (1095)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

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  (843): AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME. http://tfl.nu/mm0e
  Replies (11) Good night (571) Bad night (1220)
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  (408): View more from California

  I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi

  (408): View more from California

  so I peed on it

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  (408): I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi (408): so I peed on it http://tfl.nu/hxc3
  Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (311)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs

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  (651): Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs http://tfl.nu/pah7
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (262)

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