im about as happy as oj after his trial
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.