you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
they're like a gay fantastic four
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole