Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I faked an abortion last night.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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