I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
