Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
